


yeah I've been feeling everything

by megankelly



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-27
Updated: 2012-12-27
Packaged: 2017-11-22 15:46:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/611488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megankelly/pseuds/megankelly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Most mothers wouldn’t be so ecstatic about their child graduating a year late, with a GPA that’s still pretty pathetic, but she’s aware how miraculous it is that Scott is graduating at all—or, honestly, that he’s even alive. Sheriff Stilinski is sitting on her one side, sans Stiles who really wanted to make graduation but had finals at college. On her other side is Derek in a black leather jacket and tight jeans, and though Scott really wishes Stiles could've made it, he’s surprised how much seeing Derek makes up for it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	yeah I've been feeling everything

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from "Kiss Me" by Ed Sheeran

It’s Scott’s high school graduation, and he knows he should be happy but he’s feeling pretty alone. The werewolf drama never let up long enough for him to fully recover academically, so now he’s graduating a year later than planned, no best friend beside him.

He looks out at the bleachers. His mom is beaming at him as she waves. Most mothers wouldn’t be so ecstatic about their child graduating a year late, with a GPA that’s still pretty pathetic, but she’s aware how miraculous it is that Scott is graduating at all—or, honestly, that he’s even alive. Sheriff Stilinski is sitting on her one side, sans Stiles who really wanted to make graduation but had finals at college. On her other side is Derek in a black leather jacket and tight jeans, and though Scott really wishes Stiles could've made it, he’s surprised how much seeing Derek makes up for it. 

They haven’t always been on the same page, but after having to come together for a few too many crises, it became clear to Scott that they had a bond that wouldn’t be going away anytime soon. He never suspected they’d actually become friends, though. Scott supposes it’s natural that it happened, what with his friends and Derek’s pack being away at college. 

Somehow having Derek around has made this year a little less lonely, which still surprises Scott since he always saw Derek as…well, a symbol of solitude.

When Scott walks across the field to his principal and grabs his diploma, his mom and Sheriff Stilinski are on their feet, cheering. Derek is standing too. He’s not shouting, but he’s clapping and genuinely smiling. 

Scott walks back to his seat feeling a little more satisfied.

\--

After graduation ends, Scott goes into the parking lot with all the other students who are looking for their families. He spots his mom and Sheriff Stilinski. They attack him with hugs so quickly that it takes him a few seconds to realize that Derek isn’t with them. 

“I’m so sorry Stiles couldn’t be here,” Sheriff Stilinski says.

“No, don’t be. He had finals. That’s important.” He scans the area around them. “Where’s Derek?”

His mom and Sheriff Stilinski exchange looks.

“What?” Scott says.

His mom shrugs. “Oh, nothing. Nothing. It’s just—you and Derek have been awfully close lately.”

“We’re not close,” Scott says. “We’re just….” He can’t think of a way to argue against that statement. Since when did he become close to Derek? That’s actually kind of terrifying. 

His mom smirks. 

“I like girls,” he says, sort of helplessly.

“Scott, we didn’t say you didn’t,” she answers. 

“No shame in a man crush,” Sheriff Stilinski says. “Even I have to admit that I admire the guy’s muscles and that stubble he has going.”

Scott groans. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom.”

As he walks towards the school building, he hears his mom saying, “You don’t think we embarrassed him, did we?” and he shudders at what they might be thinking about his relationship with Derek. Sure, Scott hasn’t dated anyone since Allison and hasn’t been interested in any other girls, but that doesn’t mean he’s interested in guys. And it certainly doesn’t mean he’s interested in Derek. 

He just wants Derek to be around. A lot. But Scott figures that has something to do with werewolf instincts anyway. 

The bathroom is empty when Scott walks in. He stops in front of the mirror and looks at himself. A high school graduate. He smiles because he deserves to be proud, he really does. Even if his younger, straight A self would be horribly embarrassed at just how hard it was for him to get to this point.

A “Hello, Scott,” interrupts his thoughts. 

He jumps a little, then turns to face Derek, who is standing in front of a stall door. 

“I thought we got past this appearing-out-of-nowhere phase,” Scott says.

Derek smirks. “Don’t flatter yourself. Even Alpha werewolves need to go to the bathroom.” He goes to the sink next to Scott and starts washing his hands. 

Scott, though initially startled, has settled back down now. He watches Derek coat his hands in soap and starts thinking about how this would’ve surprised him a few years ago—seeing Derek do something so ordinary, something so human like washing his hands. He thinks about how tense he would’ve been because he associated Derek with danger, whether that danger was Derek himself, a nearby threat, or of the far-off variety that Derek demanded he be prepared for. 

Derek grabs a paper towel and dries off his hands. He tosses the paper towel in the trash and then leans against the wall. “So. Congratulations on surviving.”

Scott rolls his eyes.

“Seriously. Surviving until your high school graduation. I wasn’t sure you had it in you.”

Scott laughs despite himself. “And I didn’t even kill anyone like you said I would.” 

Derek smiles. “I said you probably would, not that you would. And who knows, if I hadn’t told you that, things might’ve gone completely differently. Maybe you would’ve.”

Scott is about to argue with him when it hits him—how differently things would’ve gone without Derek. Though Derek, that first year, spent as much time being a pain in Scott’s side as he did being helpful, he can’t deny that he wouldn’t be alive right now without him.

“You know, Derek….I never thank you.”

Derek scowls. “I was joking. You really don’t need to thank me-”

“Not for that. For me being alive at all. You saved me so many times and-”

“And you saved me too. It’s nothing.” Derek’s looking down at the ground. 

“That’s not nothing. I wouldn’t be graduating high school today if it weren’t for you. Not that you exactly encouraged my academic growth but still…”

Derek sighs and looks at Scott directly. “You really shouldn’t thank me.” He walks forward and places his hand on Scott’s shoulder. “Come on, I’m sure your mom and Sheriff Stilinski are getting impatient.”

“First off, I didn’t go to the bathroom yet. And second, I’m trying to talk to you about something important. Won’t you just listen?”

“I’m listening, Scott,” Derek answers, with a hint of impatience. 

Scott looks up at Derek with scrutinizing eyes. Derek’s hand is still bearing down on Scott’s shoulder, reminding him, like always, that no matter how strong he is, Derek is always stronger. “But you’re not hearing me.”

Derek’s expression softens, and Scott is struck by how open and vulnerable he looks, even if he knows that it’ll only last a few seconds. “What is it, Scott?” 

“It’s just—I know that you feel like a lot of the stuff that’s gone wrong these past few years has been your fault. And sometimes I used to try to blame it on you too. But when it comes to me, Derek….well, I want you to know there’s nothing to blame yourself for. Nothing you’re at fault for. You’ve made my life better.” 

Derek’s expression is one of genuine shock.

“I mean, this year would’ve been miserable without you. And I’m just…I’m glad. That you were here and that we’ll always be…I don’t know….connected.” Scott suddenly feels like the exposed one and none of his words seem right, but he still feels like there’s more to say. Derek’s gaping mouth and wide eyes—they make Scott want to keep talking, until Derek’s expression returns to something more comfortable. But all he can do is repeat, “You’ve made my life better.”

Derek gulps suddenly and violently, and if Scott isn’t mistaken, his eyes are misting just a little. “That’s not, uh, something I hear very often.” Derek’s hand slides off Scott’s shoulder and moves up to Scott’s hair. He grabs a tuft of hair in the back, and for a second, Scott thinks Derek is going to yank it, slip into that threatening mode from their early relationship, push him up against the wall. Instead, Derek just leans down and presses his forehead to Scott’s.

Scott, meanwhile, is too stunned to move.

Derek breathes deeply. “You’re not lying,” he says. It sounds like the words have been dragged out of him. 

“No, I’m not.”

“You made my life better too.” Derek closes and opens his mouth, as if he’s debating on whether or not he should explain more. In the end, he closes his mouth. Some part of Scott wants him to continue it just because it would mean Derek opening up, getting real, talking about missing Laura, maybe, or how it feels to have your whole family gone, or to be so completely ruled by rage. After a few seconds, he speaks again. “I’m proud of you, Scott.”

Derek steps back, moving his forehead off Scott’s, and ruffles Scott’s hair. “See you out there.”

Derek walks away and Scott watches, mystified but oddly happy. 

\--

After Sheriff Stilinski takes a ton of pictures of Scott, alternating between him posing alone, with his mother, and with Derek, and after the four of them go out to dinner, Scott heads home to video-chat Stiles. 

Stiles is asking about the ceremony when Scott blurts out: “I think Derek is in love with me.”

“Shut up! Derek Hale?”

“Yes, what other Dereks do we know?”

“I’m sorry, a Derek that is in love with you has to be a Derek whose existence I’m not aware of. No offense. But…Derek…in love with you?”

“I just, I have this feeling,” Scott says, though he knows now it sounds stupid, especially when he has no evidence.

“Does Derek like guys now?” Stiles says, as he reaches for some pretzels. “Is that a thing?”

“I mean, I don’t know. It’s not like I ask Derek about his sexual preferences.”

“Well, it sounds like now’s the time. Take notes.”

“Eww, Stiles.”

“What? I’m curious! He’s an enigma, okay?” Stiles sighs. “You’re being serious, though? You really think he’s into you that way?”

“I mean, I’m not sure. But maybe.”

“Well,” Stiles says, “how do you feel about that?”

“Um, I don’t know.”

Honestly, Scott doesn’t hate the idea. He’s not sure why he doesn’t hate the idea. Because, really, there’s no way he can return Derek’s feelings. He would have to reject Derek, right? And that would be horrible, right? He likes girls. Scott isn’t sure why that thought feels more like a reminder than a fact. 

Stiles gasps. “You love him too!”

“No, no, I love Allison.”

Stiles raises his eyebrows. “Still?” 

“Always,” Scott replies, though not as confidently as he used to.

Stiles is about to say something when there’s a knock at Scott’s door. “It’s me,” Derek says on the other side. 

Scott says a hurried, “Be right back,” and minimizes the window before calling, “Come in.”

Derek is holding a small, wrapped box. Scott gulps. 

“I forgot to bring your graduation present earlier.” Scott can hear an irregularity in Derek’s heartbeat. He’s lying. There’s some other reason he came now and didn’t bring it with him to the ceremony. “Figured now would be a good time to drop it off, but if you’re busy-”

“Nope, now’s great. Sit.” 

Scott gestures to his bed, and Derek sits down. Derek reaches across towards Scott at his computer chair, and Scott grabs the gift. Derek looks at him expectantly. Scott slowly begins the unwrapping process, but his fingers are shaking a little. He hates himself for being so nervous all of a sudden.

Scott opens it. It’s a compass, clearly old, with “Hale” engraved into the back in fancy letters and an inscription that reads, “Stay while you can. Run when you must. But home is always with the wolves.” 

“One of the few family heirlooms that survived the fire,” Derek explains. “It belonged to my father, but it was handed down through the family. Apparently that’s something my great-great-grandfather used to say when he was the Alpha. It’s kind of cliché, a whole it-doesn’t-matter-where-you-are-if-you’re-with-family thing. But it was important, I guess, because the pack was on the run a lot then.” 

Scott’s throat feels dry. “Why would you give this to me? I can’t take this.”

“Oh, come on, Scott. It’s your graduation. Just take it.” There’s a desperate plea to Derek’s voice. Not taking it would be a slap in the face. He adds, “I know it’s a family thing, but you know, you were there when I didn’t have anybody else-”

Scott shakes his head. “You’re giving me too much credit. We didn’t even get along.” 

Derek shrugs. “You gave me someone to care about,” he says casually. But Scott can feel the significance underlying his words—that this isn’t casual at all. “Will you just take it?”

Scott nods, then eventually stammers out some thanks. Eventually, his voice stronger, he gets out, “I’ll take really good care of it.”

Derek rolls his eyes. “It’s just a piece of metal, Scott. It doesn’t hold the souls of my deceased family or anything.”

“But still—it’s still important.”

Derek gives him a half-smile when he says, “Yeah. I guess it is. Anyway, I’ll get going. See you later.”

“You don’t want to stay?” Scott asks. “I can make us something, and we can watch a movie or something-”

“I heard Stiles’s voice on video chat just before I came in,” Derek says with a smile. “I don’t want him to think I’m completely hogging his best friend.”

“Oh, so you heard-”

“You talking about your unending love for Allison?” Derek rolls his eyes. “Yes, yes, I did.” 

“That’s it?”

“Yeah, that’s it.” Derek looks at him skeptically. “What? Did you expect me to be eavesdropping my whole way upstairs? You still think I’m that creepy?”

“I—no—just—”

Derek smiles. “Spit it out, Scott.”

“It’s nothing. It’s just embarrassing. To be overheard. Especially when I know how you feel about the whole Allison thing.”

Derek sighs. “Let’s not get into that now, alright? Today’s your day.” He stands up and heads towards the door. “Have a good night. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Scott nods. “Good night.”

Derek leaves, and Scott looks back down at the compass. At “Hale” in such pretty writing. He rubs the engraving with his thumb and sighs wistfully. Somehow he and Derek have become important to each other, and he’s not sure how to handle that. He’s not sure how to even think about it.

Then Stiles is saying, “Uh, hello.” 

“Oops,” Scott says, as he opens the window again.

Stiles, however, is not annoyed. Instead he has the widest grin on his face. “Now that was really a touching scene to behold.”

“Oh, shut up.” Scott wishes he had some of Derek’s intimidation skills right now. Instead he’s blushing. 

When Stiles starts singing about Scott and Derek k-i-s-s-i-n-g, Scott flashes gold eyes and fangs at him, which, mercifully, is enough to get him to stop. Unfortunately, he can’t put off his own thoughts quite so easily.


End file.
